Words of Comfort

So I may have started praying recently…

Yikes.

Don’t mistake me for a pious person. Or even remotely religious. Quite the opposite really, I’ve been vehemently against organized religion since 7th grade. The conflict I’m currently involved in is a prime example of what goes wrong with such organizations, among many past travesties.

For whatever reason though, two crazy old prayers from my youthful, naïve catholic school days popped into my head when I found myself in need of something to calm my nerves.

Anyone remember the Our Father, or perhaps the Hail Mary?

These two prayers were pivotal in my unknowing youth, words I often spoke as a kid when I was in a position needing comfort. I can vividly remember many experiences as a kid reciting these meaningless words, like singing a song, in my head to comfort me. I suppose that in itself may give them meaning, albeit not the intended one.

I feel like everyone has some little limerick, perhaps a song they used to love or a poem, that relaxes them. The simple act of speaking or singing is what calms a person. The ritual, as it were.

The past couple weeks have been rougher than the rest of the deployment combined. The weather is heating up, and so goes the opposition. The enemy.

When I find myself in one of these fear gripped moments, I do occasionally utter one of the above prayers, silently, just to control my breathing, and keep control of my emotions. I’m not relying on help from “above”, unless you count the air support we call in from time to time. I don’t intend on affecting my situation by calling on a higher power, I feel it would be ignorant of me to believe safety was so easy as that.

Sometimes you just need something… uplifting to say.

I’ve by no means turned religious, found Jesus (Praise the Lord!), that would be too damned cliché, am I right?

I’m just doing right by 8 year old me.

…Although the tiny superstitious part of me worries that admitting that might screw it all up…

Eek.

Keep on keeping on… See, that’s comforting too.